Mabel picks up a new poet, Swartz Metterklume, at a poetry reading. Jeremy Paxman critizes the poets with regard to their taste in poetry and orders an inquisition. Barry takes care of it by asking Schwartz Metterklume, poet, a few questions down at the Harvey. Mabel advises that poets are allowed to run completely wild. Eventually, Mabel decides to go along to the Harvey to see what would happen.
MABEL: How Provoking. These poetry super-prizes are so careless. Why have that Paxman fella as a judge? Does he even write poems Barry?
BARRY: Does he need to? I think he has a point. I've invited him to The Harvey tonight, for a bit of poet questioning. First up, that Swartz Metterklume, he makes no sense.
MABEL: But Roy has been disgusted by the nature of this charge thrust upon us all. He has learned that Ursula has an artistic temperament when he asked her to account for 'Father Samuel'.
BARRY: Why. What did Ursula do?
BARRY: Her Russian poem that no one can understand, not even Russians?
MABEL: She also used a colloquial expression, as in the poem by Swartz Metterklume. The general public dislike it a lot. Not a very illuminating experience!
BARRY: I've never met him but, the least show of unexpected resistance goes a long way towards rendering them cowed and apologetic.
MABEL: When the new editor of Poetry Revenue failed to express wonderment at Ursula's efforts in Russian, she spoke only French for three days.
BARRY: I trust you are exaggerating! He drinks like a fish and beats his wife!
MABEL: And he's quite the most irritating bridge player.
BARRY: Tiresome. We will talk of this some other time. let's get down the Harvey and question some poets with Paxman.
(Mabel strides out over the West Swindon horizon destined to have a trail of embarrassment in front of her)