FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME?

MABEL: I believe football's coming home.

BARRY: It F....ing is not.

MABEL: Language Barry! I hope you kept that to yourself at the meat raffle? You'd be beaten with a side of beef for that.

BARRY: Some beatings are worth it. And no it's not coming home.

MABEL: Yes it is, everyone is singing it, even in the COOP.

BARRY: I've not heard that.

MABEL: Are you living in a different time and space?

BARRY: I hope so. They talk about football coming home to refer to the fact that football games as we know them originated in Britain. What Brexshit!

MABEL: I thought it was German!

BARRY: Everyone seems to know the score.

MABEL: 2 - Nil. Impressive!

BARRY: Not if you count the corners.

MABEL: I never count corners.

BARRY: Or the women.

MABEL: I didn't see any. Are they any good?

BARRY: They were after the First World War, then it was banned in 1921

MABEL: And for good reason. Can't be distracting the girls from the twin tub.

BARRY: One had a shot so hard she once broke the arm of a professional male goalkeeper.

MABEL: That would never happen in the kitchen.

BARRY: Informal kickabouts became a popular pastime for the women and this was not missed by factory management.

MABEL: Stop there!